


Earthly Spring

by Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains



Series: All the Little Lights [3]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Crush, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, High School AU, Kaworu being Kaworu, M/M, Music, Shinji being embarrassed, Somewhat WAFF, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24331414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains/pseuds/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains
Summary: "You know, I was just coming down to let you in.  I didn’t expect you to attempt a full frontal assault on me,” Kaworu remarked casually.Kaworu invites Shinji over to his house.  Shinji, being Shinji, is nervous, and does his best to hide his crush on Kaworu.  Things don't work out quite the way he expects.  Who says Kaworu can't be sweet, in his own way?
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Series: All the Little Lights [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765918
Comments: 12
Kudos: 139





	1. Just Take Five

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back again with some more Kawoshin fluff! This is intended as a sequel to my fic "Ice Cream Expertise," but can also be read on its own without any significant confusion. As with "Ice Cream Expertise," this is intended to be part of a series of high school AU Asurei and Kawoshin vignettes. Considering its an AU, there's going to be some divergences from canon, so if something seems off, that's probably because it is.

Shinji walked slowly up the sidewalk toward the porch, a slight reticence showing in his steps as he approached his destination.It wasn’t that he was unsure of where he was headed.In fact, he had double checked with Kaworu, and he was sure he had gotten the address right.In fact, Kaworu had said he could see Shinji from his window, which meant he was probably on his way down to let him in anyway.That didn’t stop Shinji from still feeling a tad nervous. _Don’t think about him as your crush.Just think about him as a friend.As far as you know, that’s all he thinks about you as.Don’t go jumping to any sort of conclusions here.There’s nothing to get worked up over.Sure, this might be your first time over at his house, but that’s not a big deal.He’s just a friend, and there’s no sign that’s going to change, so you need to get over it and deal with that._

Shinji let a small sigh escape his lips as he neared the door.It had been the better part of two months since he met Kaworu.Although their first interaction had been . . . to be blunt, odd, Shinji had come to learn since that Kaworu wasn’t quite as unusual as Shinji had initially thought him to be.Sure, he had certain characteristics that some people might label idiosyncratic (such as his vocabulary of choice, for one), but all in all, he was an easy person to get along with, who had a good sense of humor, and, as Shinji had discovered, not dissimilar interests to Shinji’s own.They messaged fairly regularly, and Kaworu had come along to hang out with Shinji and his friends several times.It turned out that he would be starting at their school in the fall, which Shinji had decided was a plausible enough reason to invite him.Shinji told himself that he just wanted to help the new arrival acclimate to the town, and integrate into the social scene.Or something like that. _I definitely haven’t had any ulterior motives in play . . . it’s not like I want an excuse to hang out with him without him figuring out that I’m crushing on him._

For Shinji, it wasn’t a matter of keeping his preferences a secret, or anything like that.He had been out to his family and his close friends since his freshman year, and at this point, it was pretty much old news.They had accepted it without much ado.Shinji could still recall Touji’s words when Shinji came out to Hikari and him, “Yeah, that makes sense.”He had followed this with a comment about how he’d let Shinji know if he was ever “on the market again,” because Shinji was “definitely a good catch,” which had earned him a solid elbow to the ribs from Hikari.While the remarks might of come across as mocking or rude to someone else, Shinji had known it was Touji’s way of saying that nothing had really changed between the two of them, and that he was fine with whoever Shinji liked.In all reality, nothing had really changed since he came out.

What Shinji was more concerned about was how Kaworu would react if he found out Shinji was interested in him. _I mean, I don’t even know if he rolls that way.With my luck, he’s probably one hundred percent straight.I mean, he doesn’t seem like the kind to be terribly homophobic either, but he still might not react well if he finds out I have a crush on him.And what if he’s okay with it, but his family is awful about it?I mean, I don’t want to derail our friendship before it even starts moving.And . . . even if he is interested in guys, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m his type . . . I honestly have no idea what type of people Kaworu would date.I mean, presumably he’s single, unless he’s still dating someone long-distance from back down in— I’m definitely overthinking this._

Shaking his head to dispel his meandering thoughts, Shinji reached up and rang the doorbell.While he waited, he turned back out to look toward the fading sunset, trying to keep himself from drifting back into his thoughts.By now, the sun had sunk below the visible horizon, the only trace of its existence the dull flames that still lit the edge of the skyline.Above the dying embers, the sky melted into a murky grayness that deepened into the darkness of night as it rose.It wouldn’t be long before the stars could be spotted in the heavens above.Already, Shinji could make out a few poking into existence here and there through the sable backdrop, irradiant pinpricks in the incalculable celestial expanse.That was one pro of Asherdale.Its relatively small size meant that it didn’t produce nearly as much light pollution as some of the larger cities along the coast generated.

Shinji’s attention was draw back to the door as it opened.A woman looked out at him, tilting her head slightly.“Yes?,” She asked with a polite smile.

Shinji was briefly confused.His first thought had been that this was probably Kaworu’s mother.At the same time, she looked to be somewhere in her early-thirties, which threw him off a bit.He decided to go with it anyway, since as far as he knew, Kaworu didn’t have a sister.

“Hello, Mrs. Akagi, right?I’m a friend of Kaworu’s.He invited me to stop by.I’m Shinji Ikari.”

The woman nodded, smiling.“He’s mentioned you.Come on in.”She stepped back and out of the way.

“Thank you.”He entered, looking around what appeared to be a mixture between a hall and a den, the two rooms adjoining to each other. A staircase off to the side headed upstairs, with another doorway leading into what looked like a dining room, and a couple unopened doors to boot.

“No problem.I think he’s upstairs right now, if you want to catch him now.”She tilted her head toward the staircase.

“Oh, okay.I’ll do that,” Shinji said with a (somewhat forced) smile, following her movement.His mind, however, was preoccupied again. _He’s mentioned me?Is that a good or a bad thing?Or is it neither?Or both?Huh . . . don’t do this again.You need to lay off the worrying, and just roll with it._

“Sounds good.”Mrs. Akagi nodded, and headed for the doorway into the dining room.Blinking and giving another minute shake of his head, Shinji headed up the stairs— and nearly ran into Kaworu at the landing.

The grey-haired boy eyebrows shot up as he quickly dodged out of the way, narrowly avoiding a conclusion.Shinji managed to catch himself as well, but ending up coming face to face with Kaworu, a little closer than he had anticipated.He felt the hints of a blush touching his face.For his part, Kaworu didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it.He grinned as he inspected Shinji.“You know, I was just coming down to let you in.I didn’t expect you to attempt a full frontal assault on me,” he remarked casually.Shinji found his blush deepening. _Come on, that’s just a joke.Don’t be a pervert or something here.Keep it cool and reply nonchalantly._

Shinji shrugged.“I got tired of waiting, figured I should just go for it,” he responded, trying his best to sound extemporaneous.

Kaworu cocked his head at this.“Ah, so you’re the type of man who takes what he wants, by force if necessary,” he mused, his tone and his expression both turning serious.

Shinji’s eyes went a little wide, and his tongue suddenly felt as though it felt more like tying itself into knots that formulating a reply.“Uhhhh,” was the extent of his verbalization.

Kaworu’s face broke into a grin once more.“I merely jest.Though your expression is, as the turn of phrase goes, priceless.”

By now, Shinji was roughly seventy-five percent certain that the flush of his face had spread outward to his ears as well, but he nodded weakly, and managed to half-stammer out.“Ni-iice.You had me going there.”

“Well, I do aim to please,” Kaworu said, finally pulling his face back a little from Shinji’s.Shinji all but breathed a sigh of relief. _Shinji to face.He’s not five inches from you anymore, you can stop looking like a tomato now._

“Haha, yep.”Shinji knew he still sounded absolutely awkward, but there wasn’t much that he could do.Kaworu, for his part, didn’t seem to notice.Instead, he turned and headed back up the stairs.

“Come along, I’ll show you—“ Shinji saw him raise his hands to mimic quotation marks—“‘my crib.’”

“Ah, okay.”Shinji trotted up after Kaworu, and followed him down the hall at the top of the stairs, all the way to the room in question.

Entering the bedroom, Shinji ran his gaze over the room slowly, taking it all in.He almost wanted to say something along the lines of, ‘it’s not what I expected,’ but he realized he really couldn’t, because he hadn’t known what to expect. _Probably not this.Well, maybe._

Kaworu’s room wasn’t large per se, but it seemed as though the space it did have had been well-used.A bed sat in one corner of the room, a nightstand next to it.Above the bed hung a poster of a bespectacled man, with the caption _Dave Brubeck_.At the foot of the bed was a dresser.An open closet was built into the opposite wall of the room.Directly across from the doorway was a desk with a chair at it, above which sat a large window, the curtains of which were currently opened, letting in some of the evening’s light.The main illumination in the room, however, appeared to come from a lamp sitting on a corner of the desk, directly opposite what looked to be a cd player set atop a stereo receiver.A pair of speaker flanked the window itself.In addition to these furnishings, next to the door itself, a keyboard was set up against the wall, and beyond that, a bookcase was placed in the corner, the majority of its shelves filled with tall, thin volumes that Shinji thought looked to be songbooks, with the entire bottom shelf filled with a mixture of vinyls and cds.It seemed an appropriate room for Kaworu in Shinji’s mind.It made sense.There was a sense that the space was distinctively Kaworu’s space.

Standing in the center of the room, Kaworu glanced back at Shinji, and spread his hands.“So, what do you think of my humble abode?”

Shinji curled his lips, casting about for the words he wanted.When they didn’t come quickly enough, he answered with a simple, “I like it.”

Kaworu appeared to take this as a positive reaction.“Fantastic.”

Shinji found his focus drifting over toward the keyboard.“So, you play piano?”

Kaworu nodded, moving over to take a seat on the side of his bed.He motioned Shinji toward the chair at the desk.“Yeah.It’s one of my main hobbies.”

Shinji took the seat.“How come you’ve never mentioned it before?”

“I suppose I’ve never found a good time to mention it.”

Shinji tilted his head.“You could have brought it up when I talked about playing Cello that one time.When we were at the arcade with Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke.”He realized that the remark had come out in a more accusatory tone than he intended.

“I suppose you’re right.Either way, now you know,” Kaworu responded, retaining his calm, collected, and positive demeanor as always.If there was one thing that Shinji had noticed about Kaworu, it was that the boy never seemed to show any signs of annoyance, let alone anger.Nothing seemed to break Kaworu’s stride, or disturb him much at all.He took everything as it came, and simply accepted it.Shinji had yet to see Kaworu even seem in the least bit unhappy or upset.In truth, it was a bit perplexing.

Shinji nodded, accepting this answer, glad that Kaworu hadn’t taken his comments poorly.“So, what do you like to play?”

“A little bit of everything.Although . . . Brubeck is probably my favorite.”He indicated the poster above his bed.

Shinji thought he knew the name, but he wasn’t entirely sure.Jazz wasn’t exactly his area of expertise.“I think I might know a few Brubeck songs.”

“I would suspect you know at least one,” Kaworu said, his tone straightforward.“Let’s see.”He walked over to the keyboard and sat down, powering it on.He paused for a moment, and then began to play a rhythmic pattern.Shinji recognized the unconventional time signature fairly quickly.The piece sounded as though it was written in five-four time.As Kaworu began to play out a melody over the chords, Shinji realized that he did indeed know the song, although the name escaped. _That’s pretty impressive.The melody and the accompaniment don’t quite line up rhythmically.I can imagine it’s hard to play both simultaneously._

After a brief passage, Kaworu brought his rendition to a close, and turned around.“So?Did that ring a bell?”

Shinji nodded, a wide smile on his face.“Yeah.I recognized it.I can’t remember the name though.”

“That would be ‘Take Five,’” Kaworu supplied, smiling as well.“It’s Brubeck’s most well-known piece.”

“Ah, okay.You nailed it, by the way.That sounded great.”

Kaworu gave a small shrug.“I performed alright.I know the piece fairly well, which helps.”

Shinji knew what Kaworu meant, but he still had the impression that Kaworu was underselling his skills.“Still, that was awesome.I mean it.”

“Well, thank you.”Kaworu responded, his smile growing.

_I hope he doesn’t think I’m just trying to flatter him,_ Shinji mused to himself. _I don’t want to come across as disingenuous._ Shinji noted that a silence had fallen over the room, with Kaworu sitting patiently and quietly at the keyboard, as though he was waiting for Shinji to say something.“So . . .” Shinji began, “What did you invite me over for?”

“Well, my original plan was for us to stargaze.It looks like a pretty clear night out there.” Kaworu replied in a tone that implied the answer was logical, perhaps even to be expected.That was most certainly not the case for Shinji.He blinked, temporarily nonplussed.“But, we can modify that as we see fit,” Kaworu added, seeing Shinji’s incertitude.

“Uhh, no, I mean, that’s fine,” Shinji quickly countered, considering the option. _I don’t think I’ve ever gone star gazing with a friend.Or anyone for that matter.But . . . it might not be a bad thing._ “Where though?”

Kaworu gestured toward the window directly above his desk.“Well, on the roof, of course.”

Shinji found himself blinking once again as he processed this explanation.“Oh.”


	2. In Other Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star gazing on the roof is more interesting than Shinji expected it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second part of "Earthly Spring." Featuring plenty of Kawoshin cuteness, Shinji being a nervous mess, and a lively discussion on a Bart Howard song. Take a guess which one!

It turned out that the portion of the roof in question outside of Kaworu’s window happened to be almost entirely flat, a curious feature in the design, but one which came as something of a relief to Shinji as he hauled himself through said window and climbed out after Kaworu.Given the head start he had on Shinji, Kaworu was already laying down a blanket he had brought from in his room a little further from the window.Shinji made his way over to Kaworu carefully.Even though the roof was mostly flat, he didn’t feel like taking any chances.

Having finished laying the blanket out, Kaworu was already sitting down on it by the time Shinji reached him.He looked over, a gracious grin spread across his mask, and patted to the free space on the blanket beside him.When Kaworu had first grabbed the blanket out of the closet, Shinji had been moderately puzzled, as the night was far too warm to make it necessary.However, by the time he had seen the roof itself, he realized the blanket’s purpose wasn’t warmth, but to keep them off the tiles of the roof, which were ridged in a way that did not appear as though it would be pleasant to lie atop.

Shinji took the spot Kaworu had suggested, letting his legs trail down and away from him.Kaworu, meanwhile, shifted his gaze from Shinji to the now mostly-gloomy sky.Already, a number stars were visible, though Shinji guessed that even more would be perceptible soon, as the last rays of the day were extinguished.

“I like the sky here,” Kaworu commented.“Out of all the places I’ve lived, it’s one of the nicer heavens I’ve seen.Definitely better than the ones above cities.”

Shinji leaned back, following Kaworu’s gaze upward.“Less smog, huh?”

“That’s an understatement.I’ve lived places where the sky matched my hair 24/7.An unceasing grey palate that consumed the light.”

“That doesn’t sound fun.”

“It wasn’t.I prefer a sky that looks like a sky.A sky that looks like its managed to escape humanity’s clutches.As though it’s managed to stay sacred.To remain azure and unbroken.”

_That’s a good way to put it,_ Shinji reflected. _It’s almost poetic._ “I know what you mean.I prefer that too.”

There was a still interlude for a time as they both surveyed the sky, no words needed.Kaworu was the one to end.“When I was younger, when my parents first adopted me, my mom would take me out driving with her some nights when my mother had to work late at the lab.We lived in the mountains back then.The real mountains, I mean.What you have here are more like hills in comparison.There was an outlook we would go to every once in a while, and just park there.Especially when there was a full moon.You could see the whole valley below from it.It was magical, seeing the city illuminated in the moonlight.Like something out of a fantasy novel.Almost otherworldly.You could almost pretend it was a city of elves rather than humans.Like Rivendell come to life.It was one of my favorite places as a child.”

Shinji rolled this information around in his mind, taking in what Kaworu.Kaworu glanced over, and apparently interpreted Shinji’s quiet as a sign of puzzlement, as he offered several brief clarifications.“I was adopted when I was six.I call my mother Ritsuko mother, and my mother Maya mom.That way things don’t get confusing, as there’s no ambiguity as to who I’m trying to talk during any given conversation.”As usual, his tone betrayed no frustration or vexation, as though it was perfectly alright for Shinji to be briefly baffled, as long as Kaworu was able to rapidly return him back to the right track.

“Oh.Okay.That’s a good strategy,” was the best reply Shinji could construct. _Well, I think that definitely lays to rest one of my concerns.I guess I don’t need to worry about his family being homophobic._

Kaworu, for his part, hardly seemed to notice Shinji’s reaction to his elucidation, instead leaping right back onto his original train of thought.“I think that’s one of the reasons why the sky holds such beauty for me.I’ve heard that the experiences you have in childhood tend to have a lasting impact on your entire life.I would say those nights led me to develop an affinity for the starry sky.Of course, there are other reasons as well.”

Shinji nodded.“Yeah, I think you’re right.Our childhoods really have a way of making us who we are.”

Kaworu said nothing in response to this, and the rooftop lapsed into silence once more, both boys seemingly satisfied with that.Kaworu perhaps because he was legitimately relaxed and enjoying the evening, and Shinji because his thoughts were elsewhere, primarily trying to focus on something other than the fact that this setting, the two of them alone of the roof together, side by side on a blanket, felt a lot more intimate than he had anticipated.Which of course made his nerves kick into overdrive.He found himself tapping his knees half unconsciously as he stared up and outward.

Shinji’s thoughts were disrupted by Kaworu shifting, moving to lie down completely on the blanket, kicking his legs out from the folded position they had been in, sustaining his silence.Shinji decided to follow his example, and reclined himself back gently, easing himself down with his arms until he was also completely prone, his view aimed heavenward. _Huh.This is actually pretty comfortable.The blanket buffers the grooves in the roof really well.Better than I had expected.And it’s nice and warm out too.And not just because it’s summer, but also because you’re right next too—don’t think about that!You were doing so good, thinking about the roof.Go back to the roof.Yes, the roof.Focus on the roof.Give the roof all of your mental concentration.Roof, roof, and nothing but the roof.Hmmm . . . think about the roof . . . what is the roof made of?What separates the roof from me?What is the roof’s purpose?Why was the roof created?When was the roof created?Who built the roof?To roof, or not to roof, that is the question.’Tis better to have roofed and lost, than to never roofed at all._ Shinji’s subconscious all but shook its head, unwilling to be distracted by philosophical pondering on the fundamental nature of a roof. _It’s a roof!Not some piece of Shakespearian imagery that’s a thinly-disguised metaphor for sex!What more is there to say about it?Come on, think of a better distraction.Something that’s more interesting . . ._

It was at that instant that Shinji became conscious of movement next to him.And not just any type of movement.A very particular movement, to be exact.Kaworu had slid to the side, bringing him even closer to Shinji.At this point, they were practically shoulder to shoulder.Shinji surreptitiously let his eyes wander downwards.Their hands were perilously close to one another, lying limp in their respective laps.Shinji’s could feel his face igniting, crimson flooding across it.Thinking of a distraction had suddenly become all but impossible. _Uhhhh . . . that must have been an accident . . . yeah . . . an accident . . . how could that be an accident?You don’t scoot over close to somehow until you’re nearly on top of each other on accident . . . do you?Maybe he’s just extremely focused on the stars.Like I should be.Think of the stars Shinji . . . the stars, not Kaworu.Distant points of light in the sky.Or think of them from a scientific perspective, giant burning balls of gas.Think of anything except the face that you could literally just let your hand slip and you’d be touching him—and I know it’s summer, but it’s still night time, and it should not be this hot out here!_

Fortunately for Shinji, Kaworu came to his errant mind’s rescue (albeit inadvertently, of course, but Shinji wasn’t going to complain about that).“The stars are radiant and gorgeous,” he started a soft, contemplative voice.“But,” he continued, a melancholy note entering his voice, “They are so very lonely.And so very cold.Like a fathomless wasteland, where an eternity can pass before the numbness leaves your bones and you feel the warmth of light once more.Where you can lose yourself far beyond forever, a bit of debris, adrift in the emptiness . . .” he drifted off, sounding positive mournful.Shinji was surprised, and simultaneously, sympathetic.He had not expected that the first time he would ever hear sadness in Kaworu would be inspired by stargazing.Yet, there was a sincerity in Kaworu’s ramblings that made them sound incredibly personal, and almost authentic.There was a strange verisimilitude in his words, although Shinji knew Kaworu obviously had not journeyed through space.Still, Shinji couldn’t resist posing the comment that jumped into his mind.

“You sound as though you’ve been yourself.”

“Sometimes I feel like I have.I’ve dreamt of vivid wanderings through the galaxy enough times to feel as though I was a celestial sojourner in a past life.”

Shinji looked over at Kaworu, who, in an uncharacteristic change, was not smiling, but looked as pensive as he sounded.“You dream of space?”

“Yes,” Kaworu, his voice taking on a near-oracular cadence as he intoned, “I dream of drifting beneath the bodies of the universe for countless millennia, witnessing the birth and destruction of reality, waiting to be born myself.Galaxies young in my eyes, planets passing from formation into obscurity in the frame of hours.It is a sensation like no other.To know the pace of perpetuity, to attend to genesis, and observe omega.”His speech grew light again, the irregular rhythms dropping away.“I have strange dreams.”A small grin curved his lips once more.

Shinji was now more confounded than ever.He wasn’t at all sure what to make of Kaworu’s cryptic commentary.His face had collapsed into bemusement, his mien mystified.Kaworu turned faintly, and took in Shinji’s bewildered expression.His demeanor grew kind, and he appeared almost guilty.“But that’s not incredibly important.There are other things that take precedence.Shinji, do you know any Bart Howard songs?”

Shinji eyebrows furrowed, the question not one he had foreseen.“No, I don’t think so.Not off the top of my head anyway.Why?”

“Well, there’s a Bart Howard song called ‘Fly Me to the Moon.’I can’t lie, it’s one of my favorites.Even if it is a bit overplayed.Call it a guilty pleasure, if you will.”

Shinji bobbed his head gradually.“Well, I do know ‘Fly Me to the Moon.’I always thought it was a Frank Sinatra song.Don’t know if I’d call it overplayed though.”

Kaworu shook his head.“No, Sinatra’s version is just a cover, though an excellent one, no doubt.And I suppose whether it’s overplayed or not is more a matter of opinion than anything else, and irrelevant to boot.”

“Fair enough,” Shinji agreed, not feeling even mildly like debating that.His mind was still far too befuddled for that.

“Do you know the lyrics to ‘Fly Me to the Moon?,’”Kaworu pressed on.

“Err, maybe some of them.I haven’t listened to it in a long time.”

“Let me refresh your memory,” Kaworu said, his eyes flashing with something that Shinji momentarily thought looked strangely like affection.Kaworu took a breath, and then abruptly began to sing.His voice took on a rich quality as it moved from speech to song, transforming into something quite unlike his speaking voice.The a cappella baritone strains floated out into the open air, rising upward toward the boundless ether, strong and firm despite the lack of accompaniment.His phrasing was legato, a vibrato current beneath it, more drawn-out than Shinji remembered the song, but not in a bad way.“Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars.Let me see what spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars.In other words, hold my hand.In other words, baby kiss me.”He halted at the end of the first verse, letting the residual sound dissolve away naturally.He stared intently at Shinji, his gaze unreadable.

Shinji was absolutely certain that the shade of red he currently was should not be humanly possible.In fact, if he blushed any harder, he half-expected that his face would expand outward and mutate into a balloon.A part of him was convinced that he had just been serenaded by his crush, and practically invited to kiss the ashen-crowned boy, while another part of him argued that Kaworu was honestly merely trying to jog Shinji’s memory as to how the song went.No part of him, however, had a concrete plan for how to respond.Rather, he ended up staring right back at Kaworu, blinking unsteadily, his mouth momentarily flapping, only unintelligible mumbling issue forth. _Brain to Shinji, brain to Shinji!Say something!You are a sentient life form, capable of speech!Use it!_

Kaworu’s reaction to Shinji’s temporary dumbfounded state was simply to maintain his resolute gaze, which didn’t help Shinji recover his powers of speech any quicker.Shinji wasn’t certain about it (he wasn’t certain of much at that moment, on account of his brain going into full-blown flabbergasted mode), but he had a suspicion that he saw the hints of an all-too aware grin, dripping with mischievous, playing about the folds of Kaworu’s lips.The scrutiny to come up with this theory, however, forced him to study Kaworu’s lips with considerable concentration, which in turn, when he realized what he was doing, threw his brain for another loop as it was recovering.When at last he “rebooted,” a process which felt as though it took several minutes, but in reality, likely only took roughly thirty seconds, a time during which Kaworu was apparently content to wait patiently, still not breaking his gaze.Shinji, on the other hand, was trying to look anywhere besides Kaworu’s eyes.Primarily because he didn’t want his mental systems to crash again.

When Shinji at last returned to normal operating parameters, he promptly snapped his mouth shut, and then said, with all the grace of a drunken idiot, which is to say, none at all, “You’re, a, a really good, um, singer.Yeah.”

Shinji was quite sure that Kaworu’s knowing grin that formed in response to this was not a figment of his imagination, but rather a very real development, but he didn’t think he had the power at that moment to question it with embarrassing himself any further than he did already.“Why thank you,” Kaworu said, his timbre matching the deviousness of his smile.“I didn’t know my singing could be quite so impactful.”

Shinji’s mind threatened to power down once again, this time out of sheer mortification, but he managed to wrestle it back under control before for it could flip the lever.“You learn something newt, er, new everyday,” he remarked, doing his best not to stumble over his words or trail off into the throws of another dizzying tizzy.

“Indeed you do.Anyhow, to return to my purpose behind the singing.I think about those lines sometimes.”He looked away from Shinji, and out toward the sky itself again, finally breaking his relentless stare.“The song says ‘let me see what spring is like onJupiter and Mars.’Which is all well and good, I suppose.It fits the theme of the song.Flying away into the stars, and all that.But I don’t think I’d like to, personally.”

Now that Kaworu wasn’t looking his way anymore, Shinji decided he could probably safely look at Kaworu without the blood vessels in his cheeks going supernova. _After all, I can only see the side of his head.No eyes involved.Those eyes are the dangerous part.It wouldn’t take much to get lost in them.But if I got lost, would I want to get found again?Hmm . . . probably not — dammit Shinji, try to think vaguely platonic thoughts here!He wears contacts anyway, so you couldn’t swim in his eyes, you’d get stuck.Probably.That doesn’t even make any sense._

Despite the fact that the less-cogent portion of his mind was busy debating the finer details of whether it was possible to doggy paddle through a tear duct (Shinji’s imagination was a bit of a runaway train at times, especially when it had overloaded only moments before), Shinji only vocalized a single question.“Wouldn’t like to to do what?”He was genuinely curious, since he was having difficulty following Kaworu’s viva voce rumination, both because it was more than a little abstract, and because of his own mental meanderings.

“i wouldn’t like to see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars,” Kaworu replied, his eyes roving in the firmament.“I think it would be a letdown.And perhaps cold as well.But most definitely lonely.Not much of a spring really.Just another season, past and surrendered to the doldrums of the days gone by.I think I could do without that, thank you very much.”

“Ah, okay.”Shinji was following Kaworu’s logic, at least at a surface level, but he still was utterly clueless as to where Kaworu was going with his pseudo-philosophical trek.

“No, I think I much prefer spring here on Earth.A trip to the moon might be alright, but only for a vacation.Not a relocation.Aside from that, I would like to remain strictly terrestrial.Spring here is quite nice, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Umm, yes?”Shinji answered, wondering why Kaworu was suddenly asking for his opinion on spring.

“You don’t sound very sure,” Kaworu noted, looking back at Shinji again.

Shinji held up his hands, and quickly repositioned his gaze, finding the material of the blanket to be a fascinating object for visual inspection all of the sudden.“No, spring is nice here.It is.I mean, as long as you don’t have allergies.It’s probably slightly hellish then.”He found himself rambling a little further, an action prompted by his discombobulated composure.“There’s lots of pollen in the air.It can get pretty bad, especially on the windy days.The worst is when you’re around the pine trees in the hills.It almost looks like a pale yellow fog has materialized out of nowhere, and is spreading out like a plague or something.So yeah, probably the worst nightmare of someone who has severe allergies.I’m really not selling spring here very well, am I?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Shinji observed that Kaworu was smiling once more.This time, however, the smile didn’t appear to betray any sort of mischief, but instead, unpretentious cheerfulness.“Not exactly.But, I don’t think I’ll have any problems.As far as I know, I’m not allergic to pollen.I’m looking forward to seeing what spring is like here.I’m hoping it’s warm?”

Shinji nodded.“For the most part, yeah.” _He has an unusual interest in warmth.Well, maybe not unusual, but he focuses on it a lot.Make a mental note of that.For . . . purposes.Because why not._

“Good.Though I suppose, even on cold days, if tonight has revealed one thing, it’s that the proper company can make an evening heat up fantastically.”This was followed by a near-imperceptible blink in his right eye.Shinji’s mind took a second to process this, before it imploded. _Wait a minute!That wasn’t a blink!He just winked at me!He winked at me!HE WINKED AT ME!Ahhhhhhh!_

Shinji was left at a loss for words once again, his regained capacity for speech doing its best to prove fugacious. It seemed a second crisis was imminent, as he careened about his brain erratically, trying in vain to pull his thoughts together before his mental faculties liquified into a collective ’Shinji.exe has stopped working, on account of the fact that Kaworu is too damn smooth, in his own unique, partially peculiar way, which only makes it more adorable, and charming, and ooohhh, lucid thoughts are not a part of the forecast for tonight.’Shinji wasn’t one to crush lightly.When he crushed, he crushed hard.As proven by the fact that he was struggling to not melt into an incoherent puddle of hazy daydreaming.And it was night, no less, which made that fact all the more absurd. _How can you even daydream at night?!Then again, when he winks at you, how can you not daydream?!_

Kaworu, seeing Shinji on the verge of systemwide failure number two, threw him a lifeline.“Wouldn’t you agree?”

This question managed to pull Shinji back from the brink of the overthinking abyss he was perched over.He blinked several times, reorganizing his thoughts into something vaguely resembling non-lovesick sanity, and nodded.“Yeah . . . I, I would.”

“I’m glad,” Kaworu said.“Otherwise I would have had to accuse your friends Hikari and Touji of being sources of inaccurate advice.”

Shinji shook his head, clearing a few more of his mental cobwebs, or more accurately, shoving them far enough to the side for him to think critically.“Wait, what?”

“Well . . . I did assure them I wouldn’t reveal their part . . . but, apparently I lied.”

The majority of Shinji’s mind remained nonplussed, though he was beginning to get an inkling of what Kaworu was hinting.

“After the last time we hung out as a group, they both sent me some advice.Rather authoritative advice, in fact.Roughly along the lines of observing that we were both clearly interested in each other, and that we were mild idiots for not recognizing it and just ‘getting together already,’ and furthermore, a strong recommendation that I should be the one to make the move, because ‘after his last breakup, Shinji will graduate before he has the balls to ask you out.’I decided to take their advice, because at least in regard to their initial observation, they weren’t wrong, and I didn’t want to find out if their last statement was right or not.I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say I never believed it was wholly accurate.That being said, I didn’t want to wait in case it was.”When he had finished speaking, Kaworu watched Shinji closely, awaiting his response.

Shinji swallowed hard, and shut his eyes for a minute, willing his mind to function, and not derail.It would could probably be classified as a minor miracle, his brain decided to listen, and came up with a reasonable.“You know, sometimes my friends are idiots.But . . . sometimes they are a lot less oblivious than me.And, umm, sometimes their observations are right on all accounts.”

Kaworu teeth cut through his smile for a few seconds as it glimmered even wider in the low light.“Hmm . . . that reminds me, I forgot something earlier.”

Shinji’s brow curled inward, disconcerted by the sudden shift.“Oh?What?”

“Well, I only covered a couple lines of the song.There are a couple more after the ones about Jupiter and Mars you know.”

Shinji’s brow uncurled, as he slowly began to catch on.“Oh yeah.That’s a good point.”

“And you know, if you listen to the original lyrics, the speaker in the song essentially says that he’s going to use a metaphor in one line, and then translate it in the next line by providing the actual meaning behind it.So really, the two lines after the part about Jupiter and Mars are what he really meant when he talked about seeing spring on the planets.Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I recall something about ‘hold my hands’ and ‘baby kiss me.’You know, I think I like those lines a lot more.That’s the risk with metaphors.The message doesn’t always carry across.Sometimes it’s just best to say it loud and clear.”He paused, and then added, “So I’ll take a page out of a different song and say ‘I wanna hold your hand.’”

Shinji’s sole response to this was a glazed over grin, a nod, and an “uh huh.”

“That wasn’t really a question.”

“Uh huh.”Shinji’s hand reached out, partially of its own accord (at least, it felt as though it was), and curled around the one Kaworu had swiftly offered, pulling the pair even closer together.As their faces all but collided, Shinji managed to look directly at Kaworu for the first time since things had gotten ‘more interesting.’

“That last line though.That’s the big one, isn’t it?I mean, it’s not exactly ambiguous—“

Shinji surprised himself, when he half-plunged forward and half-pulled Kaworu in to the exact act to which Kaworu was referring.At first, it was an awkward affair, unquestionably a result of the spontaneity with which it occurred.After a few awkward seconds, however, both participants relaxed into the account.Shinji’s mind bounced around, untethered and blissful.

_His lips are softer than I had thought they would be.And I already thought they’d be pretty damn softer.He smells kind of like coconut. . . I like it . . . but he tastes . . . he tastes like starry nights.Because that’s a flavor now.Because I say so.And it’s a delicious delicacy.End of story, no questions allowed._

_His hand is in my hair.Against the back of my head, guiding me, steadying me.Holding me up, if I rise too high to do it myself.It’s good to have something to keep me in place, I think I might coast away like a cloud otherwise.His hand is on the small of my back, tracing the beams of my bone structure, learning tactile architecture through a polyester veil.I don’t think I’d mind too much if he traced the pattern against my skin someday, learned the frame unobstructed._

_He knows just how to pace it too.He’s not rushing.I knew he wouldn’t.Something told me he wasn’t the type to move too quickly when he could slow it down instead.His teeth are nipping against the edge of my lips, like he’s teasing me, trying to persuade me to open up for him.And I don’t feel like staying shut.Is he going to add tongue?I kind of hope he does . . . maybe just a little.Oh . . . there we go.That’s what I had in mind . . .Wow.That is all.Wow.You know, if this is what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars, I think he’s wrong about not wanting to give it a try.It’s a lot warmer than he thought it would be.I could get used to this kind of weather._


End file.
